You have drawn a social worker in the Secret Santa, or you are married to one, or you gave birth to one and are still not sure what they do. It is December and you have a budget of ten pounds.
I can help.
What they already have
Mugs. At least four that say something about social workers and coffee. One that says WORLD’S OKAYEST. One from a conference in 2019 with a logo that has since been rebranded.
A lanyard. They have opinions about lanyards. You will not choose the right one.
A “self-care” kit. A candle, a bath bomb and a small card telling them to breathe. They have three, from three different Decembers, and have not had a bath since the second one.
A sign for the desk. They do not have a desk. They have a locker and a laptop and a chair that belongs to whoever gets in first.
What they would like
Socks. Good ones. People take their shoes off on visits more than you would think, and nobody wants to be in somebody’s front room discussing a parenting assessment in a sock with a hole in it.
A proper flask. One that keeps tea hot from eight in the morning until a quarter past three, which is when they will drink it.
A phone charger for the car. And a second one, for when the first one is lent to a colleague and never seen again.
An umbrella that fits in a bag. They do a great deal of standing on doorsteps.
Hand cream. All that hand gel.
A voucher for somewhere that does lunch. With a note that says it must be used sitting down.
A novel with no children in danger in it. A detective, a village, a vicar. They read reports about real life all day and would like, at nine in the evening, to find out who poisoned the colonel.
What they would like and cannot ask for
An evening when nobody asks how work is.
You to take the phone off them on Christmas Eve and put it in a drawer, and for them to let you.
To be allowed to be quiet on Boxing Day without it meaning anything.
If you work with them
Do not get them anything. Cover their duty shift on the 27th. They will remember it until they retire.
If you manage them
A card, handwritten, that says one specific thing they did well this year. Name the family if you can do it without naming the family. “The way you handled that Thursday in March.” They will know.
It costs nothing and I have seen people keep one in their purse for years.
And if they are newly qualified
There is a book. I would say that.
It is about the first year, and I wrote it so that whoever was in theirs would feel less on their own with it. It comes in paperback, it costs less than the flask, and it will fit in a stocking if you bend the stocking. It’s here.
I would still get them the socks as well. The book will not keep their feet warm on a doorstep in January, and I know which of the two they will thank you for first.
Maisie x
Next in the notebook: The cup of tea