The diary, counted
The year in numbers
Every entry in the diary begins with the day’s numbers. Somebody had to add them up.
- 112diary entries, starting on a Monday in September
- 510things counted
- 12acronyms pretended to understand, on day one
- 23acronyms learned by day four (approximately)
- 19of those immediately forgotten
- 40acronyms deployed in a single strategy meeting, at least
- 0biscuits provided at that meeting (scandalous)
- 60%understanding of what was happening (maybe)
- 47emails received on one Monday in October
- 7mistakes found by Heather in three case notes
- 37planets displayed at a school science fair
- 24leek seedlings inspected
- 23minutes of one phone call spent on leeks
- 1toy car, looked after
Professional boundaries: a timeline
- 25th September: technically maintained
- 10th October: observed. Technically
- 13th November: crossed, 0 (technically)
- 4th December: currently intact. Technically
- 18th December: you will have to read it
Red flags: a timeline
- 13th November: ignored. Probably more than several
- 14th January: flickering
- 31st January: still flickering
Things that could not be counted
- Biscuits consumed: an ungodly number
- Calories from mince pies: Unknowable
- Pigs in blankets consumed: Incalculable
- Wine consumed: A reasonable amount (this is a lie)
- Time spent looking at his profile photos: None of your business
- Times I held my breath: lost count
Count your own
There is a poster for the staff room wall, with the numbers left blank. Put it up on a Monday with a pen on a string.
Every number and every line on this page is from the diary headers in the novel.