If children’s services are in your life

About the title

“We don’t steal babies” is what social workers say when a stranger asks them, at a party, whether they do. It is the question, and the answer we give, and I used it as the name of the book because the book is about whether that answer is good enough.

It does not always feel true from where you are standing. I know that. The book knows it too.

What the book is

It is a novel. Nobody in it is real, and no real family’s story is in it.

It is told by a social worker, so it is told from our side of the door. But the angriest and truest thing anybody says in it is said by a young mother, to a social worker, about what services did and did not do for her when she was a child herself. Nobody answers her. I did not think anybody could.

What I cannot do

I cannot give advice about your family. I do not know your situation, and a website is no place to work it out.

Please do not send me details of your case. I cannot act on them, and I cannot keep them safe.

Who can help, and is on your side

Family Rights Group. Free, independent advice for parents and relatives in England whose children have a social worker, or are in care, or might be. They are not part of any council. 0808 801 0366, Monday to Friday, 9.30am to 3pm. frg.org.uk

A family law solicitor. If the council has written to say it is thinking about going to court, or has started care proceedings, you are entitled to a solicitor, free, whatever you earn, if you are the child’s parent or have parental responsibility. Do not wait.

An advocate. Many areas have advocacy services for parents, including for parents with a learning disability. Ask your social worker, or Family Rights Group, what there is near you.

If you are not safe at home. The National Domestic Abuse Helpline is free and open all day and all night: 0808 2000 247.

More people who can help.

Things I have written that may be useful

• If a social worker knocks on your door

  What to ask, what you are entitled to, and what I would do in your place.

• Do social workers steal babies?

  Who can and cannot take a child into care, in plain English.

• What the words mean

  The initials and phrases you will hear in meetings, explained.

If your social worker is not doing their job

Some do not. We are not all good at this, and there are not enough of us.

You can ask to speak to their manager. You can make a complaint to the council, and the council has to tell you how. Making a complaint should not count against you. If you think it has, tell your solicitor or Family Rights Group.

If you want to tell me I have got it wrong

You can. I would sooner hear it than not. I may not be able to reply at length, and I will not argue.

This page gives general information about England. It is not legal advice.